"Really Really" documents one of the pivotal moments of many in my adult life where I began to see the true colors of some of those I called brother in my past life. Where some of my loved ones stuck around in my life through the up's and down's, some only stuck around when it was convenient and shit was sweet. Two of my best friends since childhood, two of my crew brethren growing up, two people I shared homes meals holidays funerals fights and more with, decidedly up and disappeared years ago. One day began a multi year period of ignored phone calls, messages, disappearance from social media, moved addresses, and a near tormenting inconclusive desire to know why these guys just up and ghosted out of my life. A couple years later I ran into one of these guys at a grocery store and called him out. I asked what happened and why the disappearing act? He replied "we were too intimidated by everything you were doing with music and didn't know what to say". So these friends saw me through life, through my own fall to drug addiction for years, through numerous arrests and court dates, through committing crime as an occupation to pay bills and supply friends, and surviving all of the situations that nearly ended my life multiple times in different capacities, they were okay to hang out and sit by during all of that, but when I got my life together and found a purpose, that became too much to be around and too much to stand by and witness? Eventually I had to be okay with the person I've grown into and stop wondering why two other grown people didn't see the value of our relationship. I lead a good 10-12 year portion of my life dedicated to a group of brothers whom I swore to stand by, protect, and uplift throughout our lives, and not only do I still bare the marks and scars of those days, but I walked away with my honor and integrity intact, and not many I met from that time in my life can say the same. You have to take what you can get from this life, but it feels better to take when you contribute greater value first.
credits
from The Howling Man,
released February 5, 2021
"Really Really"
Written By: Cody Pope
Produced By: 8-BZA
Recorded By: Nicolette Ryan
Recorded @: Gaslight Compound (Nashua, NH)
Mixed By: Mertz
Mixed @: The Bridge Sound & Stage (Cambridge, MA)
Mastered By: The Arcitype
Mastered @: The Bridge Sound & Stage (Cambridge, MA)
